How do you balance Money and Emotions?


In a recent post about my upcoming goals, I explained how in the next 5 years I want to buy a single family home with cash. That goal is way out of the norm, and some logical questions came up. If you don't have a mortgage you can't get the same tax write-offs? Why not invest that money and get a 6% return and pay the 3% mortgage interest? Or wow, that must take a long time to do?

For me, my goal to buy a single family home with cash is more than personal finance. So, I figured I should write a post about my emotional relationship with money to explain my thinking.

The Emotion behind my thinking

Emotions and money go hand in hand. Money is something we work hard for and in turn are cautious about what we do with it. There are several ways to manage your money as I have outlined in previous posts, however for me and my future family I want the least “risky” of all options. 50% of divorces are caused by money issues. You may even feel some type of battle right now in your own relationship?

Growing up, my parents got divorced when I was 2, and I do not want that situation for my children. I turned out alright, but if I can lessen the chances of a divorce by even 1% for my future family then I am going to do everything in my power to do that.

The Life Style I want

Imagine living as a family with no mortgage payment? What would you do to make this a reality? Forget the dollars and cents and think about the freedom and weight off your shoulders. That is the peace I am aiming for in my goal. Is it realistic, maybe not to you? But, what if I actually do it? Or what if instead of getting 500k I only end up with 300k….wow what a failure. 🙂

Having no mortgage payment allows less stress because what is the worst that could happen? If I lose a contract at work or get fired, it is not an emergency. Stuff happens in life, I am sure you know, I want to worry less and live more.

Related Post: 3 Minimalist Habits Everyone Should Try

How do you see your goals?

Do you ever write off your goals as being too crazy…don’t! Stop doing that to yourself because you are special and unique. You never know how far you can go until you go there.

Would it be easier for me to take the “normal” road and do what the average person is doing? Sure. But, why? If you want a different lifestyle then you have to do different things.

WOAH Phil! At this rate saving for a $1000 emergency fund is hard enough…I know, I was in your shoes 5 years ago.

Should I have a mortgage?

This is so much bigger then should you have a mortgage payment or not. Obviously, it is ridiculous to think that I would tell everyone not to get a mortgage. People would be renting or living at home for 50 years. What the emotion behind money is about is finding personal finance stability in your life and relationships.

If you don’t do a budget together, why? Oh my spouse handles the finances…(common response) That is fine if one person handles the money responsibilities, however do you think that having a common goal and discussing where you are going and how you will get there is important?

Like I mentioned before, my parents were divorced growing up. I never saw a family budget meeting or a family goal setting meeting, but I think that would be freaking awesome. How close could you bring your family together with a monthly meeting like that?

So what can you do right now?

I would recommend setting some goals. If you are single set several personal goals for the next chapter in your life. If you are in a relationship (dating/married) set 30 minutes aside and have a conversation with your spouse about their life goals and aspirations. You can use the goal setting checklist to help you get started.

Question for you

What are your thoughts on this perspective?